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Empowering Neurodivergent Individuals to Thrive in Social Situations

Mara McLoughlin Shares Insightful Strategies to Enhance Social Skills and Mental Health

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Devin: What do you see as your superpower?

Mara: Honestly, my superpower is my empathy. 

As the host of "Superpowers for Good," I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Mara McLoughlin, the Program Director of IRL Social Skills. During our conversation, Mara provided invaluable insights into her program, which focuses on helping autistic and neurodivergent individuals improve their social interactions. Today, I want to share some of the key ideas and strategies that Mara discussed that can benefit us all.

IRL Social Skills, which stands for "In Real Life," offers a community-based, proactive approach to mental health by teaching essential social skills. Mara emphasized the importance of creating a safe space for participants to learn and practice these skills, stating, "We offer a community-based proactive approach to mental health so that our participants get the opportunity to learn these skills in a safe space with other people who are also struggling."

One of the standout strategies Mara shared involves transforming the dreaded small talk into a meaningful exchange. She explained, "You think about the dreaded small talk, right? We think of this more in terms of like a tactical strategy of trading information to find common interests because friendships are based on common interests." By encouraging participants to ask questions, give compliments, and share their own interests, IRL Social Skills helps individuals build genuine connections.

Another critical aspect of Mara's program is teaching the concept of "interoception," which involves understanding and interpreting the body's physical sensations. This skill is vital for both personal well-being and social interactions. As Mara put it, "The body speaks in sensation. So we want to learn how to drop into our nervous system to be able to receive the messages that our body is sending us."

These strategies are not only beneficial for neurodivergent individuals but can also help anyone looking to improve their social skills and mental health. By focusing on authentic interactions and self-awareness, we can all learn to navigate the complex social world more effectively.

If you're interested in learning more about IRL Social Skills or supporting their work, you can visit their crowdfunding campaign on SMBX. Mara and her team are doing incredible work, and it's inspiring to see the positive impact they're making in so many lives.


tl;dr:

  1. Introduction and Mission of IRL Social Skills: Mara Mcloughlin, founder of IRL Social Skills, explains that the program helps autistic and other socially struggling individuals (teens, young adults, and older adults) to initiate, cultivate, and sustain relationships. The program focuses on teaching social skills in a safe, community-based environment.

  2. Success Stories and Teaching Methods: Mara shares success stories, including a teen who gained friends and an adult who improved their professional social skills. She describes teaching methods such as using small talk strategically to find common interests, giving appropriate compliments, and fostering genuine connections.

  3. Challenges and Strategies in Social and Romantic Interactions: Mara discusses the challenges neurodivergent individuals face in social and romantic interactions. She emphasizes the importance of building basic friendship skills, understanding and interpreting body sensations, and developing strategies to manage social interactions effectively.

  4. Business Model and Crowdfunding Campaign: IRL Social Skills operates as a for-profit business and is raising investment capital through a crowdfunding campaign on SMBX. Mara encourages people to learn more about the offering on the SMBX website.

  5. Mara's Superpower and Empathy: Mara identifies empathy as her superpower, sharing a personal story of helping her partner recover communication skills after a stroke. She offers advice on developing empathy by reflecting on how one would feel in others' situations and the importance of somatic understanding.


How to Develop Empathy As a Superpower

Mara McLoughlin’s superpower is her profound empathy, which she describes as a lifelong trait. Her ability to deeply understand and feel for others drives her work at IRL Social Skills, where she helps neurodivergent individuals build meaningful connections. By fostering an inclusive environment, Mara ensures that everyone has the opportunity to be understood and supported.

Mara shared a compelling story about her partner, who had a stroke and lost his ability to speak. Through her empathetic approach, Mara tirelessly documented his attempts to regain speech and navigate workplace accommodations. Her efforts led to a successful settlement with his employer, who had initially failed to provide necessary accommodations. This experience underscores how Mara’s empathy translates into concrete actions that significantly impact others’ lives.

Tips for Developing Empathy:

  1. Reflect on Reversed Situations: Regularly think about how you would feel if you were in someone else’s shoes. Focus on not just the mental but also the physical sensations you might experience.

  2. Engage in Active Listening: Pay close attention to others when they speak, showing genuine interest in their experiences and feelings.

  3. Practice Compassionate Responses: Respond to others with kindness and understanding, acknowledging their emotions and validating their experiences.

  4. Learn from Diverse Perspectives: Interact with people from different backgrounds and experiences to broaden your understanding and appreciation of various viewpoints.

  5. Create Inclusive Environments: Foster spaces where everyone feels welcome and supported, ensuring that no one feels isolated or misunderstood.

By following Mara’s example and advice, you can make empathy a skill. With practice and effort, you could make it a superpower that enables you to do more good in the world.

Remember, however, that research into success suggests that building on your own superpowers is more important than creating new ones or overcoming weaknesses. You do you!


Guest Profile

Mara McLoughlin (she/her):

Speech-language pathologist and program director, IRL Social Skills

About IRL Social Skills: IRL Social Skills teaches autistic, adhd and other socially struggling adolescents and young adults the most important skills anyone can learn: How to initiate, cultivate, and sustain relationships.  

Website: www.irlsocialskills.com/

Company Facebook Page: fb.com/irlsocialskills

Other URL: thesmbx.com/app/auction/IRL-Social-Skills

Biographical Information: With over 14 years of professional experience working with autistic and other neurodivergent people and their families from age 6 months to 60 years and 30+ years as a student and teacher of yoga and mindfulness, Mara knows that the learning and application of these skills will build a better world.

A self-diagnosed AuDHD human and certified provider of the Program for the Education and Enrichment of Relational Skills (PEERS®), Mara holds both her Bachelor’s and Master's degrees in Communication Science. Mara was appointed to the Oregon Commission for Autism by former Governor Kate Brown, serves on the Strategies and Supports subcommittee, and looks forward to working with the state legislature to make significant change in services for autistic people and their families across the lifespan.

Personal Facebook Profile: fb.com/maramcloughlin

Linkedin: linkedin.com/in/mara-mcloughlin-irl-social-skills/

Instagram Handle: instagram.com/irlsocialskills/


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